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One day late, but not out, baby! So Bierko has gotten himself a sub full of missiles and he’s gonna be firing them off at American cities, the Russian bastard. It’s up to Jack (of course) and a lone surviving crewman onboard the sub to go all “Die Hard” on the Russian separatists. But oops, looks like our Bruce Willis wannabe only has a teeny bitty knife as a weapon. Yikes. Plus, he’s like, 5 years old or sumthin’, which means Jack’s gotta literally talk him through cutting a guy’s throat. Oooh, fatherly!

Back at the Ranch, Martha and a not-dead-after-all Aaron Pierce is conspiring to get Aaron out before Not-Dubya Dubya finds out and kills him and sends her back to the loony bin.

So it’s up to Jack and Henderson to take out the sub and Bierko. Uh oh. Can you really trust Henderson, Jack? Yup, didn’t think so. So it’s curious why Jack would give this traitorous, murdering bastard a gun…

And hey, guess what, Chloe O’Brien has an ex-husband!!! His name is Morris, and he’s a real piece of work. Just exactly the type of guy who would marry Chloe in the first place!

With Bierko finally taken down (what, you think he was gonna make it?), Jack now sets his sights on Not-Dubya Dubya. He’s got help from Mike Novick, the resurrected Aaron Pierce, and Dubya’s wife, Martha, who “takes one” for the team, if you know what I mean.

Jack’s plan: Get Not-Dubya Dubya to confess — one way or another!

Best line in the whole 2-hour block?

Jack (to Logan): “And if you think for a second that I am scared to put a bullet in your brain, you don’t know me.”

BIG MASSIVE SPOILERS AHOY

Don’t trust that CHINESE agent, Jack!!!!

Jack has definitely seen better days.