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If you’ve been paying attention to the storylines of Ron Moore’s new “Battlestar Galactica”, you sorta knew this was coming. Sooner or later, you knew Ron Moore was going to stop pussyfootin’ around and just come out and say it: He thinks the Iraqi Terrorists in Iraq that are blowing up men, women, children out for Sunday shopping are heroes, and that the American occupation, along with the Iraqi cops and government officials trying to keep their country from being torn apart, are villains.

Hence, the Season 3 premiere of “Battlestar Galactica”, which casts the humans as occupied people, while the robotic Cylons lord over them, performing crude torture and various “Evil Occupying American” stuff on the helpless humans. Proving once again that he has as much subtlety as a sledgehammer to the forehead, Moore’s storylines mocks everything about the Iraqi occupation, including the constant mentioning of “insurgency” (the heroes, of course) and the bickering, evil occupying Cylons, who believes they are working at the behest of God to enslave humankind. Sound familiar?

You can practically see the Emmys being printed out for Ron Moore. After all, Fox’s “24″ didn’t win squat from the Emmy voters until they did a full season worth of storyline where a Bush-like President turned out to be the evilest man in the world. I.e. Not-Bush Bush. Moore must have been paying attention.

The premiere itself is pretty dense, filled with the usual Liberal America is Always Evil Bullshit. But there are some good moments, namely whenever Moore isn’t preaching his totally fucked up political ideology. I love the scenes on the Galactica, which has been away for 4 months and awaiting contact with the human insurgency on New Caprica. All our favorite characters are back, including:

Kara, who is now living with that freaky Cylon with the blonde hair, because he’s holding her prison and wants to reform her; she keeps finding ways to kill him, but he keeps coming back, of course.

On Pegasus, Lee has gotten his ass royally fat. Literally. Adama is so disgusted with his son he calls Lee “fat and soft” to his face. Killer scene.

The Cylon stuff doesn’t really work, and are pretty boring stuff. Dean Stockwell is another Cylon; I don’t know if he showed up before, but he’s here now. After a while, even Moore runs out of ways to parallel his storylines with what’s happening in Iraq.

There’s not a whole lot of action, and as mentioned, Moore has absolutely no subtlety whatsoever. There’s even a heroic suicide bomber, for Christ sake! Oh Ron Moore, you Liberal Hollywood Douche Bag, don’t you know that those suicide bombers and Iraqi Terrorists you’re rooting for would cut off your slimy, rich White Guilt head if they caught your ass?

In any case, it’s good to know that Al Qaeda doesn’t just have a TV network in Al-Jazeera, but now they have their own TV show to help spread their message. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “The Al Qaeda TV Show”, aka “Battlestar Galactica”!!!

Ron Moore. He thinks Iraqi Terrorists blowing up old men and children in street markets are Kewl.